#3. Be willing to own your role. You’ve probably heard the saying that it takes “two to tango.”
As uncomfortable as it is to admit, this is almost always true. What your partner said or did may have been a huge betrayal, but there is probably a role you also played in the relationship collapse.
With gentleness and self-love, try to determine what your role was and is.
This isn’t about you taking the blame or being the only one at fault for what happened. That’s not helpful either!
This is about you owning your share of whatever dynamic was going on in your relationship that contributed to the collapse.
This might have been your tendency to say “yes” even when you mean “no.” This may be your habit of jumping to conclusions or to shutting down and withdrawing when things get tense.
Find out what your role is and ask yourself if you are willing to make some changes. Don’t do it for your partner, do it for you. The more you can clean up your own habits, the happier you’ll be.
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